A State of Paranoid Delusion: NBA Edition
Day 26
Win (I guess…)
Task 26: Well, it’s not really much of a task. You’ll see.
I love a good conspiracy. Whether or not I put any stock in a given conspiracy depends on many factors, but even the most outlandish conspiracy, if they have just the smallest hint of a grain of possibility, can be fascinating. In truth, even those without that smallest hint of a grain of possibility can at least be wildly entertaining. Before I begin, I should disclose that I am a Golden State Warriors fan. No, I have not been a life-long fan; I was a Suns fan growing up — until Jerry Colangelo traded away our near-champion team in 93 and I disowned them. I then became a Laker fan, mostly because I had a good friend who was a Laker fan and Los Angeles was, geographically, the next closest NBA market. Then they got Kobe. What a whining, arrogant, knucklehead, oxygen waste that guy is (yeah, I really don’t like him). At that point, I gave up on the NBA for a stretch; Kobe wasn’t the only whiner, there were many that insisted on crying over every little “wrong” done them; crying about their “role-model” status; crying about not making enough money (that’s the one that really got me); and just crying about so much nonsensical bullshit that I couldn’t take it anymore. Particularly because I lived in LA at the time and it was all anyone seemed capable of talking about. I grew to loathe basketball season, knowing I’d have to see purple and gold sprayed all over everything and Kobe’s bird-beaked mug plastered all over the TV every time I walked into the bar. I did, however, always like Shaq.
Fast forward several years to my relocation to the Bay Area. Obviously I knew who the Golden State Warriors were and I had seen them play before. In fact, if I happened to see a game they were playing that wasn’t against whatever team I liked at a given time, I’d root for them. I’ve always had a thing for the underdog. I even watched a couple of their games when I was in my “I hate the NBA” phase. Gradually, I began watching more and more of their games — even went to a couple — and my disdain for pro basketball (although not for Kobe Bryant) began to subside. I started to enjoy the game again and would actually make a point of watching the Warriors whenever I could.
I’m still not, nor will I ever be, a “die-hard” fan. I’m not that kind of fan of any team. If the Warriors lose this weekend I will be bummed. Because it would be a repeat and because I love the guys on my team and think LeBron is a close second to Kobe in whiny annoyingness (but he was pretty funny in Trainwreck), I will be bummed for longer than I would if they lost just any old game. So… Monday morning I should be fine. Of course I will continue to throw out complaints about lousy officiating (and no matter who you’re rooting for you have to admit there’s been a LOT of that), turnovers, missed free-throws, etc., but in the grand scheme it’s not gonna have a whole lot of impact on my life. I’ll go to work, I’ll walk my dog, I’ll eat, sleep, etc. I will not cry in my coffee (or my beer), I will not write to NBA execs about how they screwed us with that BS with Draymond, I will not be directly impacted, really, in any way. I’ll say “well, that sucks,” and get on with my life. As will the Warriors and the Cavs, whatever the outcome.
Now, all of that said, let’s get back to that part about the lousy officiating. Because something is rotten in freakin’ Denmark. The suspension of Draymond Green was complete, asinine bullshit and anyone that says otherwise is LeBron James’ mother. Draymond was reacting to being literally stepped over by a giant douche canoe. My arms would also flail in disbelief that someone could really be that big of a douche canoe. And that’s what happened. Watch the tape; he wasn’t aiming, he wasn’t flailing with intent, he was simply astounded that someone could be so unsportsmanlike (yet no one’s talking about that) and his arms went up in disbelief. And if LeBron’s balls are that sensitive then perhaps he should consider cupping them up. All that incident really did was provide a convenient and tidy way for the NBA and CBS to extend the series. Of course, I have no proof of this fact; no one has any proof of this fact, but it’s interesting that a former NBA referee said that he not only believes extending the series was the point of Draymond’s suspension, but that referees are, in fact “encouraged to favor the team that’s trailing.” And yes, I do know that said referee was fired after a gambling scandal. That does not mean his words aren’t true. Aside from the referee’s claims, another article from three years ago details how much extra revenue is generated with a Game 7. Just to be fair to the officials, there are also plenty of suggestions that the players reap some serious benefits the longer the series lasts (see here and here).
Is the series rigged somehow? Your guess is as good as mine. It certainly doesn’t seem entirely above board — on either side. It’s not like any sort of investigation will ever happen so I’m choosing to just have fun with the speculation.
As for the next task: I’m learning how to get on the “deep web…” Stay tuned.
And happy weekend!
